I remember days in my life where things weren't so complicated. Towards the beginning I woke up, ate, went to school, played, came home, watched cartoons, did homework (yeah, right), and went to bed. Life was simple. No job, no checking accounts, no hormones (yet), no cell phone bills, nothing of the kind. My parents were invincible, and every single teacher i had knew what they were talking about. Even when they were wrong and I KNEW they were wrong, they were still an adult. They still knew better than I did about life, and I was constantly reminded of that every time I asked to drive my parents' car and wasn't allowed to, and every time I was sent home with a note from my teacher for cutting my hair in class with the little plastic scissors while reclining my chair on it's two hind legs...which wasn't often, but it did happen. But something happened somewhere in the craziness of childhood and adolescence...i grew up. Now I'm the adult.
And somewhere in all the craziness of childhood and adolescence YOU did too. So now WE are the adults. And our parents are human. And we have disagreements with them. And we fight for our independence. And our professors are STUPID sometimes. And we learned that not everything we grew up with, though it shaped who we are today, works in the here and now if we still carry it within ourselves. So many questions. And we hate being taken advantage of, and we don't want to be fooled. We want to be sure of ourselves. So we question...everything. Because it seems everyone, from your peers to the generations before us, has an answer to give us about everything, even concerning the things we don't ask answers for.
So when all else fails, go back in time, right? Go back and never grow up. Right. Can't do that.
So I did the next best thing: I decided to work at an elementary school for a year and a half. I found out that kids really don't change at all. They're still mean. Still learning that their words can make another kid feel like someone ripped out their heart while it was still beating. They still pick on the fat ones, and make fun of the smart ones, and love the beautiful ones. They still fight over toys, dodge balls, cheating, and putting jig-saw puzzles together. But I, me, learned something else interesting that I never considered in my life before I worked there: they're all trying so hard to be like each other. And they have personalities that will NEVER be like one another, but that doesn't stop them from trying to force them to conform to whomever has been deemed the most popular. Because no ones wants to stick out. No one wants to be singled out for a unique quality that makes them different from everyone else. Life quickly teaches us that this would rapidly make someone alone. They'd rather be popular. The one all the girls will like, the one all the guys will like; some will spend their entire childhood trying to be someone else and, in the process, lose all that is so unique to themselves. Some will even let this carry over into adolescence, and God only knows what they lose in pursuit of something that will forever elude them. And finally, by the time adulthood arrives, many do not know who they are. And they spend the rest of their lives trying desperately to find everything they lost as a child; as a tween; as a teen. So they separate from the group they tried hard to become part of.
The temptation in being your own person at this stage in life is to isolate yourself. So much so, that you lose all contact with those around you. In our efforts to be different, we find ourselves...alone. Again. But this time, it doesn't hurt so bad. This is where we learn we will never be like anyone else out there. But if we open our eyes and see the big picture, we learn in our endeavors of returning to our own person and being different can actually bring us closer to someone else for the exact reason it divided us. Perhaps we must be part of something bigger than ourselves to fit so neatly together now after all this time. That means no squabbling over being next to someone whose puzzle piece doesn't fit yours, or fighting with yourself, your parents, or professors because life isn't simple anymore. It means helping someone coming along behind you. Help them in their beginning, and you may just find a new one for yourself.
So while you can never go back in time, you can change the future. And every bit of the future is a new beginning to something.
Red Cross
The world is in desperate need of His blood...
